No More Regrets
Are you tired of seeing that word? I know I am. Maybe that’s the whole point of these past few posts, that we will be so sick and tired of seeing it, hearing about it, learning about it, that we will do just that…learn from it and live it out! Will it be an easy task? Probably not, but God is stretching us and helping us grow from this. Will we be able to change our ways immediately? I doubt it, however the journey in front of us is quite exciting. Well…will it be at least worth all of the hard work we’re putting into it? Absolutely! God will continue to bless you as you walk with Him on the path laid before you!
Just so that all of the information is fresh in our minds let’s briefly go over what we have read in the last two posts: We should not be living in the past and letting the regrets of our lives hold us back. We read in the Scriptures that we are to forget the former thing because God is making all things new (Isaiah 43: 18-19, 2 Corinthians 5:17 and Revelation 20:5) and He wants us live the best life, the life that He planned for us to live. We learned the Hebrew meaning of the word regret, which, surprisingly is delight, pleasant, precious. Honestly, I still shake my head when I read that. We also looked at the Greek meaning of the word, which is repent. We were able to look at those two meanings together and realize that we can approach the regrets in our lives from a completely different stand point than what we have been. We can delight in in the fact that we can repent and God’s grace will cover us! (Psalm 103: 11-13)
So, the question then becomes, how? How do we get out from under the weight of our regrets? How do we stop obsessing about them? Is there a way to leave all of that behind and look towards the better days? I wish I could tell you there was one easy step and poof, it was all better. When my son was very young, we were on a family vacation and we took him to one of those shops that you can make your own stuffed animal. He giggled as he chose this beautiful, flat, un-stuffed, cream colored bear. His chubby little fingers pointed to the dark eyes he wanted for his bear and he pressed his nose up against the glass as his new friend was being filled with stuffing. The lovely young woman handed him his new bear and she asked him what he would like the bear’s name to be. He threw his arms up in the air and said, “Ta-dah!” Ta-dah! Just like that he had a new friend…and that bear, Ta-dah, is still with us many, many years later.
How I want nothing more than to tell you that all it take is a big ta-dah and you will be free from the anguish and sorrow. However, we both know that that is not how it works. What I can tell you is that through all of the hard work, the trials, the confusion, the falling back into our old ways, we will not go it alone. Not one step of this journey will be taken without God! Whew! Because I know…for a fact…that I cannot do any of it without Him! “…As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1: 5 emphasis mine) I’m not sure how much of Moses’ story you know, but God never left his side, he was with him day and night. If God is with us as He was with Moses, then I know we can do this!
Learning to change the way we have been doing things in our lives is hard, there is a learning curve and it can be scary. Scary? Sure, why wouldn’t it be? We’ve done something a certain way for so long that it has just become second nature. We become so used to it that we don’t see it as a ‘problem’. Ya know, like me fretting over what I should have done. Worrying about whether or not I accidentally hurt someone’s feelings. Staying up all night worrying and wondering why I did what I did. It’s what I do…it’s what I’ve done for so long now. It’s not healthy by any means, but it’s how I work. So when I say that it’s scary, I’m including my feelings in there too.
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31: 8). Here we have another beautiful reminder that God will not let us go it alone. Did you see that we are not to be discouraged too? God knows us, He knows our tendencies to get down on ourselves when we falter, or have a hard time doing something. He knows how human we are. That, for me, is very comforting.
While Moses and the Israelites were roaming the dessert, he was questioning God, looking for help with leading the people. I love God’s reply to Moses, “…My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 3: 14) Does this verse apply to us and to what we are learning about leaving our worries and concerns at God’s mighty feet? Yes! Think about how you feel when you focus on your regrets? How do you feel when you worry about the should haves? How heavy does your heart get when you berate yourself, over and over again, for the opportunities you missed out on and the people you think you let down? Do you see how God is telling you that He will walk with you, His Presence will be with you and that He WILL give you rest from all of the torment of the regrets that is floating around in your heart?
In Scripture, God shows us how to move past those events that have caused us so much worry and anxiety. The Apostle Paul wrote, “…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4: 11) Paul was imprisoned, beat, threatened, almost drown in a ship wreck, and his past was not one to talk about, he persecuted Christians. But here he is, forgiven, saved and writing to others about being content with what he has! The writer of the book of Hebrews says, “…be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.’ “ (Hebrews 13: 5) Being present in the moment helps us to refocus our energy. We take it off, that which is already behind us and place it on those moments that are right in front of us. Being content with what we have now is a great way of saying, ‘Yes, I know God is with me right here, right now!’ Staying in tune to what is happening in front of us is the best way to help get rid of the anxiety that makes us feel so out of control.
Remember, the enemy doesn’t want us calm or peaceful. He likes it when we are in upheaval and anxious about our pasts. He wants us to keep focusing on those things that cause us pain over and over again. Why? Because when we do this we are not content with what is right in front of us; we keep replaying the what-ifs. We are not focused on God’s voice because we are listening to the lies in our heads telling us that we really messed things up. And we definitely are not living the best way we can live because we really aren’t living, we’re going through the motions. If nothing else, can we agree that the enemy cannot get away with this? We have to stop him from ruining lives like this!
I saw a post on Facebook that said, “Don’t stumble on something behind you.” Wow, powerful words. That is what the enemy wants. He wants us to trip over those pesky things in our past, he wants us to stay in that pit of shame and regret because we don’t thrive there. Let’s remind ourselves of his lies and focus on the moment right in front of us! Let’s pause and look at everything that’s around us, all of the beautiful moments, the blessings, the gifts God has given each of us. Those will ease our anxiety and keep us content with what we have. Wait a minute…my focus is on the moment right in front of me, I am aware of my blessings and content with my life! Sure, I get it. I say the same thing to myself, too. However, I am still constantly tripping over those painful regrets in my past. This just means that I am facing forward, keeping my eyes on the things in the present moment, but I am walking backwards. Walking backwards and tripping over those distressing moments. Walking backwards, facing forward, trying to pretend that my focus is where it needs to be. Walking backward and not actually moving forward with God and the life He wants me to live.
Let’s circle back to Paul and his letter to the Philippians. He was telling them that he learned to be content in whatever the circumstances he found himself in. He goes on to write:
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4: 12-13 emphasis mine)
I can do everything through Him…everything! That means I can learn to focus on the blessings in front of me. I can, with Him, ignore the lies the enemy tries to feed me about my past. I can live the best life God wants for me because of Him!
I’d like to close with a quote from pastor, author and speaker, Louis Giglio, “Every minute you spend dwelling on your past is a moment you could be agreeing with God for your future.” Amen? Yes, Amen!
My prayer for you, for us, is that we will continue to lean in to God while we ignore the enemy’s lies. May He strengthen us as we learn to focus on the here and now, not on the pain of the past. May we learn to stand strong, with God, so we can move forward into the beautiful life He has created for us. May He bless you for sticking with these past few posts, for digging in deep and for listening to His word. May those words be a life line for you when you feel yourself tripping over those things behind you.
See you on the front porch!